Songwriting as an Effective Outlet for Youth in Pain | Part Two

In my previous blog, I discussed why songs effectively communicate emotions and how they can help change our feelings. Now, we will explore the songwriting process and how you or your child can use it to help deal with emotions.

We are going to focus on popular music since this is often the preferred genre for kids and teens, but you can use some of the same composition steps for classical, jazz, or other types of music as well.

Most songs start with a big idea or concept. For example, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” which I discussed in the last blog, is about yearning to break free. “Let it Be,” by The Beatles, is about surrender. “Flowers,” by Miley Cyrus, is about loving oneself and independence. Both “Birds of a Feather” by Billie Eilish and “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone seem to be inspired by the fear of losing love, but they deliver emotion-filled messages very differently.

Then there’s the quirky “Please Please Please” by Sabrina Carpenter, in which she beseeches someone who shows a lot of “red flags” to behave better in front of her friends. Through her clever lyrics and key changes, she has made a specific idea into a hit song that lasts just over three minutes.

What makes these and many other hit songs compelling–and not generic–messages? The topics may be broad, but the lyrics are often specific. For example, Taylor Swift sings in “Cardigan:” “But I knew you/Playing hide-and-seek and/Giving me your weekends/I knew you/Your heartbeat on the High Line/Once in 20 lifetimes.”

While we may not have had the same experiences as those described in the song, the specificity of the lyrics (often in a verse) can help us feel that we are there right alongside the artist. It helps to build that empathic bond and the relatability of the song.

How does all of this apply to children and teens who are dealing with chronic pain? Finding an effective outlet for expressing the range of feelings you or your child or teen may be experiencing can be an important part of working with and through the pain.

Singer-songwriter Kesha said, “I started writing songs to deal with my emotions. I’m a highly sensitive person.” She shares that she uses music to channel strong feelings, especially anger. Composing a song not only gives us a chance to let these feelings out, but it can also give us an opportunity to make some sense of them.

How can you apply these lessons to writing your own songs? Here’s what I would suggest:

• Start with an idea, a theme, or a title. You can always change the name later, but knowing the message is a good place to start.
• Improvise some words to go with this theme. I recommend listening to instrumental music or the intro to a song you already like and making up words on the spot. You can record yourself in a voice memo humming ideas, saying or improvising lyrics. The key is not to edit yourself. This is just a brainstorming phase.

You can also do a free write in a notebook. Try not to put down the pencil for two minutes and write about the idea without censoring yourself. This step can be done with or without melody.

• Read over what you have written or listen to the recording to see if any words stick out. Circle them or write them down. This may just be your hook or chorus.
• Compose the song around this hook. Usually, the verses are more specific, and the chorus has a more universal idea. The bridge will take the song in a new direction or provide insight. Look through what you wrote to see what fits into each of these categories.
• The structure may look something like this:
  • Verse 1
  • Chorus
  • Verse 2 (same basic melody as Verse 1)
  • Chorus
  • Bridge
  • Chorus
• Try to plug your words into this format. They don’t have to rhyme, but you may want to work on the ideas to find some rhyming phrases. This can serve as a first draft of your song!

You don’t need to be a musician to write a melody. It can be very simple and even be a take on a song you already know. If melodic ideas don’t come to you right away, that’s OK, too. While anyone can write a melody, not everyone will come up with one immediately. Be kind to yourself through this process.

Knowing a little about chord progressions or the piano or guitar part that would accompany the song can help in this process. Getting into chord progressions is beyond the scope of this blog, but suffice it to say that almost all pop songs follow a series of several different chord progressions.

Remember, songwriting is a process. While some inspiration may come easily, it is a craft that takes time and patience. The more you do it, the easier the process will become. So, grab a notebook and paper and start crafting.