The Value of Alternative Paths to Success and Happiness for Young People with Chronic Pain

This post is written from the perspective of a young person who participated in CHYP.

I thought my future was doomed when my chronic pain and illness pulled me out of high school. I had only ever imagined graduating high school with my friends and attending college. I never thought chronic pain and illness would prevent me from this rigid plan, and when it did, I adjusted slowly and painfully.

My parents and I didn’t know how successful and happy I could be on an alternative education path. Success and happiness are traditionally tied to markers of achievement, like obtaining a high school diploma followed by one or more college degrees. The set, linear path in education can be helpful and necessary; however, it’s becoming increasingly clear that success is not a one-size-fits-all journey today.

I wish someone could have told me and my parents that I didn’t need to do what everyone else was doing. Education matters, but not as much as your child’s well-being. A considerable portion of my stress at the beginning of my journey with chronic pain and illness came from school and trying to keep up with my friends. I still believe that school is vital for education and social connections, but the path to both aspects of life can take various forms.

Take my path, for example. I went from trying the usual high school route in person to taking my first two years through my district's online school. I didn’t care about learning, nor did I learn much during those first two years; I was preoccupied with my health and not interested in school. I subsequently stopped my education for three years halfway through high school and picked it up again through a private school for another year at 19. Eventually, I stopped again to focus on my health and go into residential treatment. It was then (age 21) that I got my GED. I am now receiving certifications and trainings in my field instead of going to college.

One of the biggest lessons from my path is that taking the traditional route should never trump your health and well-being. I was afraid of taking a path I didn’t plan on, and so were my parents. The truth is that I could have spared myself months of agony over my education if I had known alternative paths could lead to the successful and happy life I now have. I thought that when I couldn’t attend class, I was the rigid one; now, I see that the world around me is rigid.

Parents who can’t imagine how their child will be successful know that true success is deeply personal and rooted in what brings fulfillment and joy. When you and your child redefine what success means, you’ll find that achieving it is much more varied and possible than our old paradigms suggest.